To those who read my blog,
I found that I was avoiding the writing of this particular subject for a while because I didn’t know quite how to approach it and the truth is, I still don’t. But as I write this, it is Wednesday and I try to write these blogs on the weekend so that I can have them edited and out to you by now.
First, some background info.
I was walking to the turf I was going to be fundraising at with a new coworker. She had mentioned how she wanted to live out the rest of her life just living for herself. At that point I vomited out what may be something that is at the root of who I am. I said, “I would kill myself if I only lived for myself”. I used the word ‘vomit’ both because I wanted to let you know how quickly those words left my lips, but also to emphasize to you how much I despise the act of living for yourself.
The girl responded to me by telling me that I should look into Buddhism because with Buddhism I could learn to love myself.
Learn to love myself? I thought I did love myself. Being someone who has struggled with depression (and continues to do so) I have had to go through a lot of personal growth to know for sure if I actually did love myself. It is something I have to be sure of in order to combat some of the scariest thoughts imaginable.
But maybe I was wrong… maybe I don’t truly love myself. Or perhaps I do and something dire would be missing from my life if I didn’t help people. After all, I did say that helping people was at the core of who I am. I love people and I love helping them.
Another thought that occurred to me is that maybe loving people should not be at the core of who someone is. But if that’s the case, why are we commanded to love everyone including our enemies (Matthew 5:43-45)? This also brings up another thing: if loving people is a commandment, then is it just another task? And if so, what is the definition of love?
Wow. So there is a lot of ground to cover here. This is why I have been having trouble with this post. There’s too much wrapped up in it for it to just be a simple pondering.
First thing’s first: What is love? (baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more (sorry but I could not resist)).
First, let’s head to the most referenced Bible passage about love. Starting in verse 4 of 1st Corinthians 13, Paul describes love saying this:
“4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.”
So here we have a list of what love is. It’s patient, so it will wait. It is kind, so I imagine it to be gentle. It doesn’t boast and it’s humble… wait… verse 5. It is not self seeking. Hm… So is it possible (according to scripture) to love yourself if love is supposed to not be self-seeking?
Well, why not go to the source? What does Jesus have to say about love? When questioned about the commandments, Jesus answers that the two most important commandments are first to love God fully and completely and second to love one another as you would yourself. You can find this answer in Mark 12 and Matthew 22, but my favorite comes from Luke 10:25-37.
However, before we go into Luke, let’s examine what Jesus thinks. In Luke 10, Jesus agrees that the second greatest commandment is “‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ (emphasis added)”.
Jesus basis for loving others is the same basis He uses to love Himself. So really, loving yourself is important as it means you have an idea on how to treat other people.
This sounds a lot like what a lot of people call “the Golden Rule” which basically says, “treat others how you would want to be treated”. I believe Jesus is saying something a bit different here. He is saying that you should love people in the same way that you would love yourself. The difference is one is based on desires, and the other is based on an already established way of treating yourself. I can treat people how I want to be treated and give them a whole bunch of gifts because I may want them to give me a gift in return. OR I could treat people to dinner every once in a while because I myself treat myself to dinner here and there.
You see, I think loving yourself is mostly about recognizing the truth about yourself. After all, being humble is all about being honest with who you are and the verse I quoted from 1st Corinthians clearly says that love “rejoices in truth”.
So how do I show love to myself? Well, I take care of myself (for the most part… after all, I should be cutting back on the junk food) I purchase gifts for myself from time-to-time, I spend time with friends, and I go places that are good for me (church, dancing, outside in general… places like that). So I guess if I am going to love others like I love myself, I should take care of others (perhaps buy some people some healthy food, and participate in exorcising with them, purchase gifts for other people, and take others to places that are good for them).
So really, loving others should be wrapped up in how I love myself. Perhaps Christians are most effective at loving themselves when they love others and vice versa. Maybe loving others is a good reminder of how we should take care of ourselves, and maybe if that’s the case, I would die if I didn’t love others because I would forget how to love myself. Maybe it wouldn’t be a physical death, but a spiritual one. Perhaps that’s the truth of the situation!
Here’s something that we need to keep in mind, however. The greatest act of love is that of Jesus dying for our sins. He denied taking care of Himself so that we could have freedom in His name which should speak rather loudly to what value He sees in us. So shouldn’t we, as His followers, be willing to deny ourselves to the point of death? Does that mean we don’t love ourselves? Hardly. Although suicide is never something to aspire to, being a martyr for God is a great thing for a lot of reasons but a big reason is that you will get to see the Father sooner. Don’t kill yourself to see Him sooner, but if the opportunity arises to sacrifice yourself for another, I say go for it!
Though I may not know all of you, I love you all and I hope this entry really speaks to you. Know that as much as I love you, Jesus loves you much, much more and He has taken the fall to raise you back to where you should be. With that in mind, here are a few of questions for you: Are you worth enough to be sacrificed for? If not, why do you think that the Father sent His Son to die on the cross for your sins? If so, then shouldn’t you be willing every single day to sacrifice as much as you got (even your life) for the sake of God and other people?
Sincerely,
Joshua
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