Fun Realization

To those who read my blog,

A funny thing happened yesterday and I thought it would be a good thing to share.

I got on the bus to head out to meet a dear friend for coffee. I was not in the best state of mind.

I get to the bus stop which is right outside my house and I find one of the freshmen standing there. We strike up a conversation and talk about a lot of different things. I suppose because I was in a weird place at the time I was more prone to whining and when she asked about a few past ministries I have been involved with which ended up being places where more people were hurt than cared for, I speaking negatively about them. I was putting these places down because they were not the greatest examples of Christian love that I have seen. Places that turn away people because of religious belief and cared more about the numbers they could get rather than the love they could share with the people coming in.

The girl I was talking with stopped me and said something along the lines of, "Wow Joshua, you seem to have had a lot of negative experience with Christian organizations and yet you're still a Christian yourself".

I then had one of those very rare moments where I displayed utter brilliance. I said to her something like, "I love the people, it was just the way they were going about things that I hated. Also they helped inspire me to do good. Also we are all fallen people. Even now someone could have heard something I said in Chapel and said to themselves 'that Joshua guy seems a bit off-base in what he's saying, I don't know if I agree with that at all'". I think essentially I was saying two things:

1) I was saying that it doesn't matter what people do or how they treat you in a given circumstance, they are still lovable (something I am grateful for because it means I am still lovable).

2) Just because I have Christ in my life it does not mean I will be perfect in conduct or in speech. I will mess up, my theology at times will be a bit wonky, and I will need to be forgiven. However, even though all those things are true, my fallen nature can still serve in inspiring others to do good. I guess that's a complicated way of saying that the Father can work all things to His good... even the terrible ones.

When this girl mentioned that I had bad experiences with Christian organizations I realized I have not fully forgiven these places for what I went through because I was speaking bitterly about them. Forgiveness is essential for anyone to live a free life. Bitterness is a poison that you yourself drink, but you expect the other person to get sick.

So here is where this kind of comes to a head and become really cool. After my coffee date I went off to Swing as it was a Friday and I was itching to do some dancing. At the dance I re-met a girl who I accidentally hurt a couple months back. Her feelings were damaged even though it was not my intent to hurt her whatsoever. However we are fallen people and fallen people are hurt people and hurt people will hurt people. She was not over this hurt and I could very much tell in the way she was talking with me. She kept bringing up the hurt and would not let me forget. It was within a Christian context that I had hurt her. She may go away from that and never forget it, but thankfully we both serve a God who works all things to His good. The Spirit can guide her within her hurt and might use that experience to help others not get hurt in that way. At least that's what my prayer for her is. I would rather her not forget this hurt but use it to spread love.

It was kind of cool to see this come full circle. Anyways... that was my fun realization. I hope you enjoyed.

-Joshua