To those who read my blog,
I am frustrated these days. I really can’t get into specifics, but I am caught between a rock and a hard place. The biggest thing that’s getting me down is all this romance stuffs. I despise Valentine’s day and because of the junk in my life right now, it’s even worse this year.
When I got to swing dancing last night, I found myself enjoying it a lot more as there was no ‘Valentine’s Day Theme’ even though you’d think there would be with a dance night. I was able to dance the night away without a care in the world. Not only that, but the people I danced with, well there were no expectations on either of us except just to dance (in fact, I danced a couple of times with my swing instructor and she has an awesome boyfriend… so definitely the only expectation is to dance).
When I got back to res, my problems just came crashing back down on me. I am far too weak to handle any of this. I really need God right now.
I just wish things were not so complicated. I wish that life was a lot easier than it is. I find myself having such a hard time just dealing with life and it’s annoyances. The worst part about it is that these annoyances are causing me to be a complete jerk to some of the people I care a lot about. I am of course to blame for my own behavior, but it’d be easier if I didn’t have to be bogged down by all this crap within me. I don’t know.
That’s my morning rant and I am sorry for bogging anyone down. I hope your life is going well these days, oh reader of my blog, because maybe I can take a bit of joy in the fact that you are happy.
- Joshua
2 comments:
I just randomly came across your blog, but I decided to leave a comment even though you don't know me. :)
Well, Valentine's Day. I know that it gets a lot of people down. I don't usually even realize when it's Val day. I've never celebrated it before and I'm usually too busy to pay it much attention.
I do understand being frustrated though. I was listening to several sermons today about how our life is not our own. It's such a simple concept, but it gets me through my frustration. It's canned and cliche, but life is crazy and unpredictable and sometimes we aren't where we want to be but our life is God's project and He is more invested in it than we are and He's always up to something. Sometimes it's just a matter of letting go.
Letting go... I wish I could. I've been trying. Deleting that friend off of facebook, deleting all pictures I have of her. I really want to let go. It's just hard. Thank-you for your kind words and support. I may not know you, but I am thankful you took the time to be a blessing to me.
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