Without a Family

To those who read my blogs,

I am a lonely person. I have been lonely for a long time now. I think if you were to have read my last blog post, you would get a taste of how lonely I really am.

I feel like I've lost my sense of family. I was never close with my family, but at least I had a biological attachment, which is something I don't have right now (my family is in Ontario and I am in Alberta). I recently left the church I considered home for 2 years because things were just far too difficult for me there. A lot of my close friends have moved onto greater and beter things and though I am happy for them, I still miss their pressence. A person whom I trusted in fully felt very distant when I saw him last and as I see him rarely, this shocked, confused, and hurt me. I also left the apartment I knew for almost a year with the wonderful landlords that I loved a lot. I sometimes feel like I have no one and it scares me. It scares me and it hurts me.

Well, I prayed one day about this. It was bassically me complaining to God about a whole crap load of things. All of it had to do with my imopending lonelines and my desire for someone to love me for who I am. An unexpected thing happened. Well, I suppose I should have expected it, but I didn't. God answered my prayer. That night as I was trying my hardest to fall asleep, I turned over and saw a head poke over my bunk-bed railing. It was one of the guys who lives on the floor of residence that I moved into. He told me that he thought I was "pretty cool". I found one friend. I do not need to be fully lonely now. But that's not all. I also went to a youth group night for my praticum, and I got a ride home from someone. It was a man, his wife, and their daughter (who is in the youth group I work at). They invited me over for dinner, and I felt like there was still something inside me that others felt attractive. I found more friends. The last person I will mention is a saint among our residence. His name will surely be famous, if only among those around him. He rebuked me for my sin in a bad way, but he knew it was bad and was going to approach me about it for an apology, but I got there first to thank him for the rebuke. This may not seem that great, but I truly appreciated him looking out for me. I had another.

The point is, it may seem utterly hopeless at times, but people can surprise you and show you love. You are not alone. It may seem like it at times, but even if the whole world is against you, God is there for you. That ay seem very cliche, but it's true. And if God is with you, you will find people who will love you for you.

Sincerely,
Joshua T. Aitkenhead